Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
