I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
