I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I am one with the molecules
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
