I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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