no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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