I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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