Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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