When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
