There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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