White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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