party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
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dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
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Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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