so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
