I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
