So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Randomize
