Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
