guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The adults are the big ones right?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
