That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
