Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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