ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
