Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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