This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
