shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
