Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
