Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
