I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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