let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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