Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
