I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
