sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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