I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just gift wrapped bread.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
