Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
