it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
