Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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