The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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