hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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