yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
