You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
