Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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