I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
