So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
