It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
