like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
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My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
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Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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