you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
