i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
ok first of all what the fuck
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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