I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Couch. On fire.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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