They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
