I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
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What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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