I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
