Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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