he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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