Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
