First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
