i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
